Mathematics of life

Conroy walked up to Nestor with a big smile on his face and proclaimed that he had deduced the formula of life. Nestor who was busy working refused to look up. Barely able to contain his enthusiasm, Conroy sat in the chair facing Nestor and picked up a piece of paper from his desk. Conroy saw that there was a name and number written on it so he turned it over, scribbled something down and slid the paper across the desk to Nestor.

It read:

Life = ∑(m1, m2,m3 …mx)

Where mx = ((Sx+Ex+Lx) * Ix)

Nestor clearly wasn’t interested and he shot the piece paper off his desk with a flick of his index finger. Conroy jumped out of the chair and lunged towards the flying piece of paper but missed catching it. He got down on his fours, retrieved the paper and returned back to the chair. He pushed it again in front of Nestor and said, “This is important please read it”.

Nestor looked at the scribble and slid it back to Conroy, “What the F is this?”

“Oops. Forgot to add”, Conroy said as he scribbled further on the paper and pushed the paper back across.

It read:

Life is a series of moments mx and

S = Situation

E = Efforts

L = Luck

I = Impact of the Mx on future events

Nestor glanced at the paper once more and said “Mr. Con, this is fake mathematics. Go fool somebody else.”

Conroy refused to budge and continued sitting there in front of Nestor smiling from ear to ear. “Prove me wrong”, he said. Nestor looked up to Conroy exasperatedly and said “Well it’s not worth my time.”

Conroy said “Do you have five minutes; I can prove what I mean.”

Nestor didn’t respond and continued working. Nevertheless Conroy went on, “See most of the people say mx = L or even mistake S to be L or E to be L but L is L and no more.”

“uh hmm” said Nestor who was apparently not listening as he continued with his work.

Conroy continued, “I mean many people say that Life is luck or confuse Situation to be luck or even Efforts to be luck but luck is something independent”

“uh hmm” said Nestor added.

Despite Nestor’s apparent lack of interest Conroy continued, “Let me take an example. Say there is an examination in which you can score a maximum of 100 marks. You need 50 to pass. So S could imply …..er…lets say… your skills etc., E is the efforts you put in and L is the elixir …” he waited for Nestor's reaction.

On sensing silence Nestor said, “go on”, without stopping his work.

“L is luck… luck factor. So S will denote whether the subject is your strong point or not. E would the efforts – no explanation required. L is luck. Once scenario is:

You are strong in the subject so S = +20

You put in moderate efforts E = +50

Now comes L. So if the question which you had just revised five minutes before entering that exam hall is sitting right on the top of your question paper - it is luck so L = +20

Your score = 20+50+20 = 70

Now let’s change a few things:

You are weak in the subject so S = -20

You put in low efforts S = +20

Now comes L. If it was same as the previous scenario L = +20

Your score = -20+20+20 = 40. See it doesn’t help even if luck is in your favor if you put in poor efforts.

Lets see one more scenario:

The exams are difficult so S = -20

You put in very high efforts S = +90

Now comes L. You got stuck in a traffic jam and were delayed by 10 minutes L = -10

Your score = -20+90-10 = 60. So hard work can counter luck. What do you think? ” Conroy finished his monologue. He waited for a response while Nestor continued working.

Suddenly Nestor said “Your formula is wrong. L is important. Say if you are unwell and couldn’t sit for the exams so all your hard work etc. is a write off so the result is= 20+90-110= 0. Too bad there is no negative total scoring.” With that Nestor picked up the paper, crumpled it into a ball and threw it right out of the window onto the street below.

Conroy continued smiling, “I wasn’t done”, he said, “There was still the small matter of I to be explained”. He continued “all moments of your life are not equally important. I mean all moments do not have an equal impact of future events. Say if we apply the S+E+L formula to a queue at McDonalds. You may get your Big Mac a few seconds or minutes earlier or later because of L. However most of the times choosing the faster queue doesn’t really impact your future. But as you know sometimes they do or some actions such as a wrong step from the pavement onto the road in front of a moving bus or………….,” he stopped again.

Since Nestor didn’t react he continued, “……or throwing Genevieve’s phone number out of the window - which you just did. You know what, something similar happened to Arthur Dent in the book ‘Life Universe and Everything’. He lost the Raffle ticket with the girls phone number on it.”

“Oh my God I just threw away Genevieve's number!” Nestor exclaimed. Even though it initially seemed that Conroy’s smile couldn’t get any wider it perceptibly widened on seeing Nestor in distress.

Conroy’s happiness was short-lived as Nestor's demeanour changed and he snapped, “GET A LIFE MR. CON. Even if this silly formula of yours was right, what purpose does it serve? This formula has no practical use. So go back and find something worthwhile to do AND just so that you know Genevieve is the name of the bakery at Brook Street and I have already stored the phone number in my mobile AND Arthur Dent didn’t lose the raffle ticket which had Fenchurch’s phone number, he gave the ticket back as he had won a prize AND the books name was ‘So Long and Thanks for all the Fish’ and not ‘Life Universe and Everything’.”

“You are right” Conroy said finally, “This formula has no practical purpose except that it explains to people what life is all about. You stored the phone number on you cell so you reduced the negative impact of luck of the paper being thrown out”

Nestor stood up and said, “Mr. Con I humbly request you to get lost. Throwing out the paper was E and not L. Your formula is grossly flawed. Go back and think about it. I need to get some work done.”

Conroy sat there looking in the distance and he whispered “oh I see…… Mx = Sx1 and there lies the problem………. Is that it?...........”

“No kid. That’s not it” Nestor said as he sat down. “I am famished” he said as he took out a box labeled ‘Geneveive Bakery’ from his drawer and opened it.

Smell of freshly baked cookies wafted through the air. Nestor picked up a cookie from inside the box and gave it to Conroy. “Mr. Con. This is life. Getting the right thing when you want it,” Nestor said as began to savor the cookie.

“No it is not”, Conroy exclaimed, “that the definition of happiness not the definition of life”.

Nestor sighed as he mentally braced for another debate. “Why doesn't someone get rid of this lunatic before me makes me join his ranks”, he thought.

Just then their boss walked by and said, “Hey Conroy, in my office now.”

Conroy stood up reached out across the table and picked up another cookie from the box and walked away.

Nestor was relieved to see him go. He could now focus. “Oh yes. That's exactly what i wanted now. It is a definition of relief more than being a definition of happiness”, he said to no one in particular as he returned to his work.