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Me: I am bored. What’s on TV? This face looks familiar. Oh! It’s the Municipal Commissioner speaking at a function. Next channel? Hey wait a minute. It looks like he is crying.

Municipal Commissioner: [sobbing] I am sorry. I apologise to the people of Mumbai. We dug up every road in the city. 

Me: Wow. It feels surreal. Someone is actually apologizing for the making an apology of the roads in this city. Ha! Finally, someone has a conscience. Our dear friends had left no stone unturned to leave no road unturned.

Municipal commissioner: [sobbing harder] We tried…we tried very hard but failed.

Me: Those are defeatist words. They had given up so soon! Surely, they could have done something to rectify the mistakes. They have our money.

Municipal Commissioner: [sniffling] We had embarked on an ambitious plan…

Me: Surely ambitious. Even the Indian cricket team makes winning some matches against minnows feel ambitious.

Municipal Commissioner: … to enter into the Guinness Book of world records. We put our heads together and decided to do what we do the best…

Me: er... Pass the buck?

Municipal Commissioner: [louder]… Dig up roads.

Me: Huh!

Municipal Commissioner: [almost screaming] … DIG UP ROADS.

Me: Silly me and all this while I thought that you lost the map to a hidden treasure and the only clue you had was that you could find it under a road in Mumbai.

Municipal Commissioner: [screaming again] We decided that we shall dig up EACH AND EVERY ROAD IN THIS CITY SIMULTANEOUSLY. Yes. Each and every road. Can you imagine? Every road…...

Me: No need to imagine. The picture is very much vivid, just look out of the window – of your house, office, car etc.

Municipal Commissioner: And surely. Every road in this city has been dug up. We did this and after all our efforts the Guinness book officials denied us the record.

Me: Are they blind?

Municipal Commissioner: They said you dug up only half of the roads. We contested and reiterated that each and every road had been dug up.

Me: Are they blind? X 2

Municipal Commissioner: They said MMRDA dug up the other half.

Me: For a better tomorrow! (Fraggle Rock – dt August 24, 2009)

Municipal Commissioner: We had applied for the record in the name of Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation - BMC.

Me: Aaaaaand everyone blames the Bombay Municipal Corporation - BMC – No such entity! 

Municipal Commissioner: The Guinness book officials told us that we should have applied for the record not in the name of BMC but in the name of city of Mumbai….

Me: Yeah right. For being the most [BLEEP]up city in the world.

Municipal Commissioner:  ...for being the most dug up city in the world.

Me: Bingo!

Municipal Commissioner: They denied us the record because of MMRDA. It is so unfair. We can do everything they do. We can [BLEEP]up the city all by ourselves.

Me: Right said Fred.

Municipal Commissioner: We tried hard. We tried for the people of Mumbai. We are here to s[BLEEP] people of Mumbai. We will not let this effort to go waste. We are now…………

Me: We have skywalks now. After rains we will have waterways too. No need to go to Kerala for holidays. Let me switch to another channel.

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